X Factor final: An epic battle between good and awful

Finally it's here, after roughly thirty-eight years...

Still there: The Ryddler, The Tiddler, The Fiddlers

On Gordon Ramsey’s sweary show this week he generously volunteered his genius to save a hideous Nottingham curry house. His solution? Bring in London’s best curry chef. Why didn’t they think of that before? Amongst the swearing, however, was an excellent piece of management speak: “Ignore the positives. Only listen to the negatives.” The X Factor finalists would do well to heed this advice, instead of clinging to praise like sailors to driftwood. Rhydian has nothing to fear, but someone needs to tell Leon to butch up or he’s going to open his mouth on the night of the finals and nothing will come out. And Same Difference – now that only the Nazis are harder to like than you, kindly take advantage of the glut of illegal weapons on the streets of Britain, and do the right thing.

The Contestants

Rhydian
Supposedly he’s had it in the bag since day one, but people said the same of Gareth Gates (runner up, Pop Idol). Don’t forget, G4 (runners-up, series one) have already trodden the classical path and didn’t quite hit the top spot. Even so, the most likely winner, this week soaring alongside Katherine Jenkins.

Leon
Judging by his nerves during the semi-final, this week could see Leon forsaking song to showcase a live panic attack instead. His singing partner will be Kylie, which could score him a portion of the valuable gay vote. Could still spring an upset.

Same Difference
Duetting this week with Jason Donovan (presumably doing something from Joseph, or a reworking of the love song Especially For You) their success hinges less on their performances and more on how much the audience wants Simon to win. It’s his show after all.

Any other business

Simon is by far the most successful judge, with his act winning two of the three shows so far (Steve, series 1, Leona, series 3), while Dannii is a first-timer.

Only once have two members from the same group featured in the final (last year, Leona and Ray) and the majority mentor won. That’s good news for Minogue (Leon and Rhydian).

Only one group (G4) has ever made it to the final two. 2005 featured the deeply sinister Journey South expressing their blank-eyed rock in the final three - they were the most successful siblings so far.

Rhydian sang You’ll Never walk Alone in the semi-finals – exactly as runner-up Ray did last year.

All the winners so far have already tasted fame before the show. Leona had already cut a record with a hip producer called Marley J. Wills. Shayne had made it to the final thirty on Popstars: the rivals, and Steve had come runner-up on the Big Big Talent Show. Of this rabble, Rhydian auditioned for Any Dream Will Do, and Sarah (Same Difference) was in a kids show called Genie in the House. Leon, however, only learnt to sing in January.

Lucky/unlucky songs

Smile by Charlie Chaplin and Somewhere Over the Rainbow are lucky songs in the live show stages. Steve Brookstein (winner, series 1) had a crack at Smile, and Leona (winner, series 3) and Shayne (winner, series 2) both sang Over the Rainbow. Whoever gets Over the Rainbow (featured in every series so far) could do it.