Big Brother Celebrity Hijack SORRY TRUTH: It's rubbish!

Where's the Face? Leo Sayer? Christ, even Danielle Lloyd would do!

Still in there: Squeeling Genius, Politics Bore, Moody Acrobat, Hairy Contortion Thing, Slanty Hair Business Geek, Dancer, Dumbo, Slutty Pianist, MOBO, Cleaner, Racing Twat, New York Fashion Week?

Aside from the serious racial abuse - nice one Lloyd/Goody/Revolting S Club Troll - last year's Celebrity Big Brother was brilliant. Highlights included Leo Sayer calling Jade Goody's family a bunch of "cunts", and Face from the A-Team learning to loathe the woman who used to be on Kenny Everett. It was still great television, and by the time Shilpa Shetty romped home to win it, the racists had been beaten and humiliated and goodness reigned.

Unfortunately, the idiots in charge still decided to play it safe this year, and we're left with a horrible throbbing damp squib that offers little or nothing to the viewer. It's like watching everyone who was better than you at school getting given a treat.

The whole idea with Celebrity Big Brother is that we get to see how celebrities cope when stripped of make-up and scripts. The joy comes from falling in love with them for real or watching them unravel on live and deeply humiliating television (Barrymore, Feltz). But now, all we have is Ian Wright telling a roomfull of over acheivers that they have touched his heart. Who cares?

Still, massive Channel 4/E4 cock-ups aside, there is still a LOT of money to be won.

 

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