Big Brother Celebrity Hijack BETTING: Two to go (pictured)

Yes, it's still going, but not for long apparently...

Still There: Amy (2.1), Anthony (3.2), John (5.8), Jeremy (28), Nathan (46), Emilia (48), Jay (85), Calista (280)

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What a mess. After last year's action packed racist edition of Celebrity Big Brother, the people in charge played it safe, and we have been left with the most uneventful programme in the entire history of television. Even the highlights shows seem upsettingly short of anything. Anything at all.

And so, we're left to chew over morsels of drama, which have so far included: Calista looking at Anthony, Emilia and Jeremy having a very minor dispute for around three minutes, Amy having a mouth like a triangle, John sighing, Jay pouting whilst simultaneously growing an impressive beard, Nathan laughing and saying that he can't believe he's in "the Big Brother house" (AGAIN!), and Emilia forgiving Jeremy, putting some cycling shorts on, and deftly placing her bum on her shoulder. That's it. The entire show.

So dull has it been that no one is truly revolting and loathsome, neither will anyone forge a winning career in celebrity once they're out. Emilia might prove decent enough Zoo or Nuts fodder, but will need the customary boob job first. Amy is surely too classy for such things.

Speaking of Amy, by virtue of being the most inoffensive, she should win, with Anthony lurking just behind. Amy deserves a particular thumbs up for looking relatively unimpressed by the All Saints girls, who managed to shatter all illusions that they are idiots, by going a step further and coming across as unbelievable pillocks instead. Their need for approval from a room full of teenagers was more depressing and desperate than watching Winehouse blasting her brain on the world's biggest crack pipe.

And so two will go tomorrow night, and it must surely be the slightly less likable in a massively bland household. So, it will be Calista for being too posh, wearing weird make-up, and fancying lady's favourite Anthony. Voters hated Michelle Bass (series 5) for getting her claws into pretty boy Stuart, hence Calista should suffer the same fate.

Joining her will be either Jay or Emilia.

Jay could easily prove far too camp and pompous, whilst Emilia was only six per cent behing Latoya in their head-to-head, so is obviously losing ground. It's high time she made her move on Jeremy, else it looks like curtains.